Net-isms
or things I wish I had never heard on a net

This is part four of the politically incorrect ECom training. Once again, if you are offended by profanity, read no further.

This portion addresses the out-and-out shit that is heard far too often on ARES and RACES nets. If you see yourself in any of these, wake up moron you should either get your act together or GET OUT of ARES and RACES!

• First amongst the morons is the ass hole that starts out almost every check-in with "Welllllll good morning to the net!" He then invariably follows that shit with his name and call, both of which were usually given by NCS as he was called on.
            WHAT IS YOUR PROBLEM DIP-SHIT?!    Do you no longer have a brain or are you so drunk that you don't remember what you were called for? This is an ARES net. Either make your announcement or I.D. and shut the hell up.

• Another totally annoying idiot is the one that checks in with "This is KD0LID, I just want to say good evening to the net."
            Shut up ass hole! If you are not there to check into the net as a participant, GO AWAY! This is an ARES net, not some damned social hour.

• The next most annoying dolt is the one that does not check in when NCS calls for NTS Traffic but will say something like "This is KD0LID, Billy-Joe-Bob, with no traffic."
            TURN UP your damned hearing aid! We know you have "no traffic" because you didn't check in when it was called for. This is NOT a traffic net, it IS an ARES net to handle business and announcements for participants. Your "no traffic" simply shows what a dumb idiot you are AND that you did NOT listen to what NCS called for!

• Another very annoying individual is the one that will check in with
  "This is ahhh KD ahhh KD0 ahhh KD0LIDD, no ahhh KD0LID ahhh Jane."
            I think it is time you found something within your mental capability. It is obvious that your name and call are far too much for you to think about at one time. How the hell do you think you will ever be able to handle an emergency or priority message?! Thanks for your help, now go get some remedial training on how to think.