If you are a Good Democrat
- You have to believe the AIDS virus is
spread by a lack of federal funding.
- You have to believe that the same teacher
who can't teach 4th graders how to read is somehow qualified to
teach those same kids about sex.
- You have to believe that guns in the hands
of law-abiding Americans are more of a threat, than U.S. nuclear
weapons technology, in the hands of Chinese
communists.
- You have to believe that there was no art
before Federal funding.
- You have to believe that global
temperatures are less affected by cyclical, documented changes in the
earth's climate, and more affected by yuppies driving SUVs.
- You have to believe that gender roles are
artificial but being homosexual is natural.
- You have to be against capital punishment
but support abortion on demand.
- You have to believe that businesses create
oppression and governments create prosperity.
- You have to believe that hunters don't
care about nature, but loony activists who've never been outside of
Seattle do.
- You have to believe that self-esteem is
more important than actually doing something to earn it.
- You have to believe the military, not
corrupt politicians, start wars.
- You have to believe the NRA is bad,
because it supports certain parts of the Constitution, while the
ACLU is good because it supports certain parts of the
Constitution.
- You have to believe that taxes are too
low, but ATM fees are too high.
- You have to believe that Margaret Sanger and Gloria Steinmen
are more important to American history than Thomas Jefferson,
General Robert E. Lee or Thomas Edison.
- You have to believe that standardized
tests are racist, but racial quotas and set-asides aren't.
- You have to believe Hillary Clinton is
really a lady.
- You have to believe that the only reason
socialism hasn't worked anywhere it's been tried, is because the
right people haven't been in charge.
- You have to believe conservatives telling
the truth belong in jail, but a liar and sex offender belongs in the
White House.
- You have to believe that homosexual
parades displaying drag, transvestites and bestiality should be
constitutionally protected and manger scenes
at Christmas should be illegal.
- You have to believe that illegal
Democratic Party funding by the Chinese is somehow in the best interest
of the United States.
- You have to believe that this web page is
part of a vast right wing conspiracy.