Rush: The 14 Commandments of the Religious Left
By Rush Limbaugh
- Thou shalt have no other God except thyself; after all, it's thy
self-esteem that counts. If thou doth not love thyself, who will?
- Thou shalt not make any graven image out of any substances which
cannot be recycled.
- Thou shalt not take the name of liberals in criticism, including
feminists, racial minorities, or any person who thinks he is a victim
of America.
- Remember the anniversaries of Roe vs Wade and Anita Hill's
testimony before the Senate Judiciary Committee, and keep them holy.
- Honor thy mother. If she is dysfunctional, it is thy father's
fault.
- Thou shalt not kill. With these exceptions: life forms
under the second trimester, and those opting for medically assisted
suicides.
- Thou shalt not commit adultery. Unless thou aspirest to high
political office, useth a condom, or cannot help it.
- Thou shalt not steal. Unless thou art disadvantaged or upset
with a jury verdict.
- Thou shalt not bear false witness. Unless thou art discussing the
history of the 1980's, art campaigning, or can afford good legal
counsel in the event that thou art discovered.
- Thou shalt not covet. Unless thou art the victim of
gender-related oppression or institutional racism, or art still angry
with Reagan's tax cuts.
- Always hide the real truth about thyself.
- Never admit who or what thou really art when campaigning for
office.
- Always blame someone else for what thou dost - even so far as to
blame the entire society.
- Thou shalt oppose all punishment - except when conservative
Republicans or religious right people criticize thee.